Blue's dreamz

New Year

2007-02-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

Happy Lunar New Year, I feel that I kinda miss her. I tried to contact her, however her mobile and house number had changed. I heard that she had moved her house.. None of our friends seems to have her new contact, or it's just me.

I wonder did anything happened to her. I went out, tried to look around hoping to see her somewhere outside.

This feeling gets stronger and stronger, I need some time to move on.

BlueBlue

2006-12-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

So that's it, I finally broke up with her, on the Christmas eve. It was so simple, " I wish we never knew each other" she say it. Kinda hurt, but not very deeply. Guess I have been going through quite alot, my heart feels kind of numb.

I knew her for 2 months, we are together for 3 months.

It is very easy for anyone to fall in love or have a crush. Just almost as soon as someone who treats them good, or maybe in time of need, lend them your listening ears. Allowing them to be themselves with no restriction when they are with you. Abides to their Ego.

Human like new things, they will have great interest over something new, but soon got bored of it.
I guess the way of two people to stay together, is to constantly fall in love with each other again and again. Have to make yourself fresh with brand new things to say, get refreshing looks. Keep having surprises and romantic movement. Don't let relationship gets too stagnant or too routine-like.

Even after years had gone, I still searching for your shadows. I am looking for someone just like you, to continue the rest of the journey

Blueish's fulfillment (nonsense post)

2006-12-22T05:44:00.000-08:00

Items bought

1) Bed

Actually I didn't really bought a bed, I bought a mattress pad, it serves like a cushion on my bed and make my feel so cozy and comfortable ^^

2) Speaker

Erm.. I bought a new ear piece instead ^^ It's those ear-plug type ! The sound was great, after I put on, I can't even hear a single word even if someone is standing just beside me, Kinda dangerous, cause I can't hear car horns too. lol. Perhaps, I should adjust the volume >.<

3) Clothes

I bought myself 1 shirt, pathetic right? but what can I do when, there is only 1 t-shirt that caught my eyes. I guess the rest was bought by someone else. It's fine, I just need to scout more tomorrow ^^

Things not bought
1) Bicycle
2) Thumb drive
3) Computer
4) MP#

I intend to get my bicycle tomorrow, gonna test drive heh heh, I mean test ride ^^ as for thumb drive, I thought I should just buy a cheap one from Giant Hypermart.

I dun really intend to buy computer anymore, Hm... maybe a new hard disk? I need more storage, and I mean alot alot more. My current hard disk is about 200G, but still not enough =/

As for MP3 player,I'm still deciding on whether to get one with MP4 player or just a simple FM radio mp3 player.

Oh ya, about the story.. I think I wunt be continuing as.. the story gets boring ^^

Blueish's chapter 4 part 1

2006-12-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

Story about a guy meets a gurl..

Day 1
A guy was at the bus stop, waiting for bus and from far he could see a cute looking girl walking towards the bus top. His first thought " woah, why haven I seen her before, did she just lives somewhere around here?" as he was thinking.. this cute girl sat on the chair.

The next question is " how to strike up an conversation with her? how to get her attention?" The bus came, she went up and he follows. The guy was abit lucky as somehow or rather the earphone line of the girl's mp3 actually got hook to his shirt and as everyone is trying to board the bus.. they were 'forced' to sit together..

The guy thought "This is my chance, I must talk now or never", he look at her while trying to un-hook the line. he saw the most beautiful eyes.. he opens his mouth, no word come out all he can do is stare at her eye.. The line was un-hook and realizing it might would be rude to keep staring at her eyes. He turn and look at the window. Total silent..

When the bus reaches the bus interchange, the girl stood up and say " sorry about that " and got off the bus.. The guy wanted to follow her, but his reaction was slow and she had gone far.

Day 6
It was drizzling in the afternoon, and this is the 6th bus he missed, he was waiting for a miracle , or rather for the girl. He gave up and board the bus.. the bus was full and he stands at the rear door. When the bus started moving, he had a familiar feeling. He turn to his right and he stands so close to the world most fortunate guy. There she was standing beside him, she must have board the bus late.

It was as if that a trick was played on him. The bus driver suddenly made a sharp turn causing him to almost fall down. He manage to survive without falling, however, his act had been seen by her and she was trying hard not to laugh at him. Feeling strong embarrassment, he once place his eye sight at the window, as though he was under some focusing competition.

Day 10
He was wondering around in the NTUC supermarket, totally forgotten what had happenend on the bus that day. Happily choosing his snack and ready to made payment at counter 1. He look around and something caught his eye, an old grandmother paying for her stuff at counter 4. but that was not what he actually seeing, he was actually seeing that cute girl. She was shopping. Obviously, he hated himself for not checking out the store and, he is on the wrong queue. If he had notice earlier, he could had been at the same queue with her.

Seems like she was with her grandmother, they left the supermarket. In his mind he was thinking about leaving all the snacks there and leave the place A.S.A.P but he did not, the embarrassing encounter he had previously had stopped him from doing such act.

Walking around like a zombie, he started scanning the whole bus interchange, he did not want to miss it again. He did not spot her anywhere. Dis hearted, he went to queue for the bus. He got himself a seat beside a stranger, it doesn't matter. All he wants was to get back home. He stare at his snacks, day-dreaming. The last passenger got up the bus, and the bus is ready to move. at the corner of his eye, he saw someone is moving slowly toward the back of the bus. He look up and saw her.. with her grandmother.

He saw the things she had on her and her grandmother's hand.His body took control over him and made him stand up and give the seat to the grandmother. He fails to notice that there are two empty seat diagonally of him. They sat over there and because he was standing up, A stranger took his seat instead. The girl turn over and look at him, it seems like she knew what he was trying to do. But she just can't help but giggle. Feeling like a clown, he marched himself the back of the bus and stood there. He even purposely missed his bus stop so he won't get down the same bus stop as the girl. He needs time alone to get away from the shock he had.

To be continue..

Blueish's sidetrack

2006-12-12T17:47:00.000-08:00

Erm.. this post is plainly on my shopping list.

1) Bed
2) Mp3 player + Speaker
3) Bicycle
4) Clothes
5) Computer
6) Thumbdrive

Currently, I believe this is all I need. I recently read the newspaper, an article caught my eye. It says " do not use food as a reward for doing something right" This article is about healthy life style, so basically, like me, I like to reward myself with good/more food when i have done/complete something. This result in me gaining more weight than before... and also when I'm feeling stress, I vent it on food...

The comments of " hey, you're getting fatter" seems to stuck with me.. Time to start exercising.. before it's too late..

走过重前走过的路，才发现自己失去了这么多.
heh heh.. I did a back track at all the things i've done.. It's more like self-refection.. I missed the old me, with the old friends.. I hate my thinking then.. of which I want time to pass faster. I try to redeem myself. but things doesn't work that way.. You are often given a chance.. when u missed it, there's no moving back. You had to move on..

People say that I'm stubborn, but I want to make sure I had given people and myself a chance, I want to skip any regrets that is cause by ' giving up too easily ' > Although I knew that people might have walk through the way I had.. and already came up with a solution, I still want to stick to my " hard way" solution.. I guess this is how I learn about things..

Blueish Chapter 3

2006-11-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

I saw the changes in others, most of them became successful.. I stop and faced the mirror, I'm the same old me with no progress except some traces of winkles.. Time passes quickly, and i have no idea where did I spend my time on. Definitely not quality time spent..

I have wanted someone to be nice to me.. I found the one, but strangely, although I appreciate what has been done for me. Deep in my heart, I kept telling myself it wasn't meant to be and I wan out.. Did I take things for granted? It that another heart I'm going to break? I really don't understand myself. All the things I've done, seems like I'm just obtaining happiness for my own self.. there isn't really much time to think of others.. I need someone to rely on..

I'm confused about my life, I think i need more rest.. but time is passing real fast and I'm spending time typing these stuff.. Just noticed I have a lot of 'I's in my blog.. *Self-centred person*

till next time..

Blueish Chapter 2

2006-11-23T07:16:00.000-08:00

hur hur, the time lapse from the 1st entry the the 2nd entry is....

anyway, I've learnt that you can't blame people for changing, You blame yourself for not being able to accept the changes on other.

things normally happened with a cause, and builds up with time. I still believed that people dun change overnight, if they do, something really big must had happened and we are just kept in the dark.

Often, we feel that certain things we should just keep it to ourself.. and it's these things that you did not tell other makes a different.. they do not know your reason and the rational behind.. it seems like after, you need to have someone whom you can share your problems with... Girlfriend/boyfriend ?

Human are anti-loneliness creature, we need to find someone to rely or depend on, at any point of time be it a stranger..

Imagine you went for an outing, with lots of strangers.. you sit there alone, but your mind's focusing and targeting one if not more people who 'out-shine' others for u to start relying on.
same things applied on a job interview, talking to another interviewee to de-stress.

It had been quite long since my last soul mate, I have been quite busy and lazy.. haven been doing much interactive or widen my social circle. It just makes my choice limited. Perhaps, if there's one that is meant to be. It would had already been.. it shouldn't take so long.. heh..

I don't seems to have to many problem when I was a kid.. now responsibility and stress took me down. But i can't look back, the past may be great.. but life goes on and looking back does not means living back.. I can't reverse, stop or re-live what's past and gone.

I am learning to take new steps everyday.. slowly, I'm taking my own sweet time.. time passes too quickly, whether or not I work.

Sometimes, I wish I was someone else, but decision is not up to individuals.. no matter how much pain, hurt, stress or angry.. it's part and parcel of life... things dun happened the way I want them to be..

The things we need are always around us, but time and time again we fail to notice.. not because we don't want to.. I would guess the time is not right.

Time to take a rest.. continue in next chapter... no guarantee... I just hope that life gets better.. There is really nothing much to ask for, or the least to ask for.

to be continue...

Blueish Chapter 1

2006-07-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Fuel with anger, Diversion of thoughts reviewing memory from deep within. Dark shadow cast on the wall. Freedom brought for loneiness. Falling for one's conviction, judgement been made. Consequences reflect action. manipulate one's mood. Lust brings it all. Pathway to destruction. Lies congested self-fooled. Time's runnin, pains inflicting..